Spider Wars

Now that Spring has Sprung, I do have one problem. The 8-legged-critters are coming out in force. In my car the other day, I caught movement out of the corner of my eye, and when I looked up I saw that it was a little bitty spider on the ceiling of my car walking around. Have you ever tried to drive while staring at your ceiling to make sure said spider didn't drop on your head? I have. I also tried not to stare because if Kaylee saw it...Too Late. "Mommy, what is that?" "It's a little spider, dear." She starts screaming at the top of her lungs and thrashing around in her seat. "That's not helping me, dear." Screaming. "Stop Screaming Kaylee! He's just a little thing, he can't hurt you!" (Irony alert, yes.) Screaming. Meanwhile, I'm screaming too, she just can't hear inside my head. I'm more screaming at it dropping on me. So I hunt around in the car, and I find a book I was reading, and I smashed the book up on the ceiling of my car at the spider. At this point, Kaylee stops screaming, but I am now trying to drive staring at the book to make sure a spider doesn't come crawling around the side of it and onto my hand. Kaylee says "What are you doing?" I say "I can't take the book down." "Why not?" "Because what if it isn't dead and as soon as I lower the book, it drops?" It took me two miles of trying to make turns and drive one-handed with my other hand planted firmly on the book on the ceiling of my car. The spider was indeed flattened on my book, and I was proud of my calm under pressure. ;)

So I suppose I have to tell you Round Two, in which I didn't have quite as much valor. I'm sitting here on my couch tonight, relaxing, when there was motion on the floor under Steve's chair. It was a VERY BIG BLACK SPIDER. I mean, not a little one, not a medium one, they may grow them bigger in Texas but that was a Very Big Spider for our area. Oh man, I am still freaked out. Steve got up at my, uh, reaction, and then he's laughing at me as he has to move his chair out to get to this thing. He tried to squish it and it GOT AWAY and ran for it and it was Disgusting nasty nasty nasty. He finally killed it, by squishing it with a paper towel with his FINGERS, and I haven't stopped twitching yet. I have PTSD. Post Traumatic Spider Disorder. I think there are more of them lurking under my seat, on the head rest behind me.

Kaylee asked me why God made spiders, and I said to eat all the little bugs. She said she'd rather have the little bugs. I said she wouldn't if they ran over the world. But I'll bet I could find other ways to kill the little bugs. I'm with her.

Spider Wars Tally; Arachnids: 0, Stants: 2

Ugh.