Kaylee came home from school today telling me that she wanted me to write our phone number down on a piece of paper so she can give it to Katie B who is going to write HER phone number on a piece of paper to give to Kaylee so they can call each other and talk for real. I couldn't get over that one for awhile. Kaylee has her first phone friend! And we're not even pre-teens yet! :o)
We have SO much junk food around here, and Kaylee asked if we could make cookies. I said "Kaylee, we really don't need any more junkfood around here!" and she said "Mommy, it's not just the cookies, I just like cooking with you." So needless to say, we added cookies to our junkfood pile. :)
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Bowling and Babies
Today was fun. K had a preschool bowling trip this morning, and man did she have a blast with 
her little friends. It was so fun to watch her bowl, play, run around, laugh. I got to speak to her teacher about her, and learned some fun things. That she is very bright, that she listens very intently in class, and that in a small group she is just great, but bring in a bigger group and she goes completely to a wallflower. She still observes, but she doesn't participate. That she is a "stick my toe in the water" kind of girl, but once she gains confidence she's unstoppable. She reminds me of ME. My kindergarten report card was that in a large group I was quiet and shy, but in a small group I opened up and even became a leader. That's just like her! She's a joy, a beautiful girl, sensitive, smart, funny, and mischevious. I love her, so much.
On another note, a friend of mine got a call from her close friend, who at 33 weeks lost a baby girl. Suddenly, tragically as always. Uturine rupture. So many sad things, so many hard things. So hard to be a good friend during these hard times. I pray for peace for the mom, and the friend...
her little friends. It was so fun to watch her bowl, play, run around, laugh. I got to speak to her teacher about her, and learned some fun things. That she is very bright, that she listens very intently in class, and that in a small group she is just great, but bring in a bigger group and she goes completely to a wallflower. She still observes, but she doesn't participate. That she is a "stick my toe in the water" kind of girl, but once she gains confidence she's unstoppable. She reminds me of ME. My kindergarten report card was that in a large group I was quiet and shy, but in a small group I opened up and even became a leader. That's just like her! She's a joy, a beautiful girl, sensitive, smart, funny, and mischevious. I love her, so much.On another note, a friend of mine got a call from her close friend, who at 33 weeks lost a baby girl. Suddenly, tragically as always. Uturine rupture. So many sad things, so many hard things. So hard to be a good friend during these hard times. I pray for peace for the mom, and the friend...
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Blogs & Life
It seems like blogs should be reserved for the deep, philosophical discussions and messages, but if I wait for inspiration, it takes too long and I never write. So I'll just write about life. I guess that's the point too, eh?
Valentines Day for K was fun. She got goody bags and valentines from all of her school friends, and she just had a ball of a day. I made it special too, making strawberry cupcakes and let her decorate them with pink hearts and sprinkles. She also wrote out 25 valentines herself. I mean, HERSELF. She decorated them, she wrote her own name on them, she wrote her little friends' and grandparents' names on them. One at a time, with her tongue sticking out as she concentrated so hard on copying the letters the right way. She did an amazing job and I was VERY proud of her. And she was very excited about each one of them, about sticking the princess stickers on them and writing on them and making them look pretty. I truly enjoyed spending the day with her, my sweet, innocent girl who just loved drinking out of a heart cup and giving and getting valentines and knowing she is much loved.
On Thursday, our weather here was beautiful, so I walked her bike to school so that when she came out, she saw me standing there with her bike for her to ride home. She was SO excited, and her classmates and teachers thought it was really neat too. She rode her bike home, helmet on, proud as can be. A big girl.
Last night she was worried because there were thunderstorms. She came out and said to me "Mommy, I prayed to Jesus. I prayed that he would make it storm, but not too hard because I'm kind of scared." Then she said "But when I'm scared, I asked him to be with me, and I can hold up my hand and reach out and grab Jesus' hand. I do that sometimes." She went on to explain to me how he was invisible, but always here, and would always be there for her. Out of the mouths of babes...
Valentines Day for K was fun. She got goody bags and valentines from all of her school friends, and she just had a ball of a day. I made it special too, making strawberry cupcakes and let her decorate them with pink hearts and sprinkles. She also wrote out 25 valentines herself. I mean, HERSELF. She decorated them, she wrote her own name on them, she wrote her little friends' and grandparents' names on them. One at a time, with her tongue sticking out as she concentrated so hard on copying the letters the right way. She did an amazing job and I was VERY proud of her. And she was very excited about each one of them, about sticking the princess stickers on them and writing on them and making them look pretty. I truly enjoyed spending the day with her, my sweet, innocent girl who just loved drinking out of a heart cup and giving and getting valentines and knowing she is much loved.
On Thursday, our weather here was beautiful, so I walked her bike to school so that when she came out, she saw me standing there with her bike for her to ride home. She was SO excited, and her classmates and teachers thought it was really neat too. She rode her bike home, helmet on, proud as can be. A big girl.
Last night she was worried because there were thunderstorms. She came out and said to me "Mommy, I prayed to Jesus. I prayed that he would make it storm, but not too hard because I'm kind of scared." Then she said "But when I'm scared, I asked him to be with me, and I can hold up my hand and reach out and grab Jesus' hand. I do that sometimes." She went on to explain to me how he was invisible, but always here, and would always be there for her. Out of the mouths of babes...
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Valentine's Day
I was just sitting here thinking about the fact I needed to get my act in gear and get an idea on what to do for Kaylee's class for Valentine's Day. And suddenly, there I was, reminiscing with a smile about when I used to wear all black on every Valentine's Day, in protest. Which led me to reminiscing without a smile about why I hated Valentine's Day.
When I was in school, every kid decorated their own special box, and their box had a hole or a slot in it. You won awards for the prettiest, best decorated, most original, etc. Valentine's Box. Then everybody would go around the room and put Valentines into the boxes of the people they liked. Not ALL the boxes, just the people they liked. WHAT were teachers THINKING?? Do I even need to finish the story? How that makes a child feel if they aren't one of the "Cool Kids"? How you would be walking around putting valentines into kids' boxes and looking out of the corner of your eye at who was passing by your box without leaving one, who was shoving one in real fast without looking, kids whose mothers (appropriately) made them give one to everyone, but still hoping that none of the cool kids caught them putting a valentine in a box of a 'loser'? Watching the kids dig around and look at and compare with smirks who got what from whom?
To add to the story, my school also had a tradition where people could anonymously purchase carnations of different colors that had different meanings for the kids. Red meant love, one was friendship, one was secret flame, etc. Name called off one at a time, you go to the front of the class and get handed your flower, and go sit back down. A big production where again, of course, your popularity or lack of it was spelled out. One year I ordered a red one to take home to my mom. That year I got called up twice, once for the one I ordered for mom, and once for the red one I received. A kid in my class yelled out "She had to send flowers to herself because nobody else would!" Of course I was humiliated-it was supposed to be anonymous as to who bought what, but obviously someone in the 'know' of the order forms thought it was funny and decided to share. I was too shy to comeback with the truth, that I bought it for my mom, not to try to make myself look popular, which 1) had never occured to me and 2) I would never have been stupid enough to try, so I said nothing. I made it home before I started crying. When mom asked me what was going on, I told her, and held out the one red one for her. She got a look on her face I can now probably understand, and much later I learned that she had sent the other one to me. Several years in a row, she had filled out a form and sent a red one to me, so I would always have one anonymous flower coming.
Now I'm a mother, and I can't hardly imagine how MY mother felt about these things, because the THOUGHT of that happening to Kaylee makes me want to go commit battery and possibly homicide. What a horrible tradition. People can complain about progress all they want, and maybe things like the flowers are just going to have to be the way they are and people will have to 'deal' as a part of life--but making kids give valentines to everyone in their class instead of just the people they like is not an infringement of their right to be friends with whom they want, and it is not political correctness run amuk. It is purely and simply good manners, compassion, and an avoidance of situations that do NOT need to exist, situations that have the potential to leave wounds and scars. It's tough to be a child, bad enough to know few people like you. It's far worse to have it proven, over and over, publicly.Thank God that Kaylee will not have to deal with that in her class. I wore black for years to protest Valentine's Day. The commercialized aspects of it, the unfairness of it, the cheesiness of it. These days I wear red and pink, to celebrate with my daughter who has never had anything like that happen to her, something which I wish I could guarantee for the rest of her life. I know I can't, and I dread the hurt, but for now, I will wear pink and red with her, bake special cookies, drink pink milk, and happily prepare valentines for EVERY child in her class, even if she says to me "But Mommy, I don't like him." At which point I will explain that Valentine's Day is about kindness too, that God loves each of us no matter what, and wants us to be kind to all the people he loves too, whether they are our favorites or not. I will explain that being left out hurts, and that whether other kids do the right thing or not, she will, because it is the right thing to do, because she is a better person than that.
May my child never be on the receiving end of an empty box; and may my child never be the one to leave another child's box empty...
From Saturday, February 18, 2006
It seems like blogs should be reserved for the deep, philosophical discussions and messages, but if I wait for inspiration, it takes too long and I never write. So I'll just write about life. I guess that's the point too, eh?
Valentines Day for Kaylee was fun. She got goody bags and valentines from all of her school friends, and she just had a ball of a day. I made it special too, making strawberry cupcakes and let her decorate them with pink hearts and sprinkles. She also wrote out 25 valentines herself. I mean, HERSELF. She decorated them, she wrote her own name on them, she wrote her little friends' and grandparents' names on them. One at a time, with her tongue sticking out as she concentrated so hard on copying the letters the right way. She did an amazing job and I was VERY proud of her. And she was very excited about each one of them, about sticking the princess stickers on them and writing on them and making them look pretty. I truly enjoyed spending the day with her, my sweet girl who just loved drinking out of a pink heart cup and giving and getting valentines and knowing she is much loved.
On Thursday, our weather here was beautiful, so I walked her bike to school so that when she came out, she saw me standing there with her bike for her to ride home. She was SO excited, and her classmates and teachers thought it was really neat too. She rode her bike home, helmet on, proud as can be. A big girl. :)
When I was in school, every kid decorated their own special box, and their box had a hole or a slot in it. You won awards for the prettiest, best decorated, most original, etc. Valentine's Box. Then everybody would go around the room and put Valentines into the boxes of the people they liked. Not ALL the boxes, just the people they liked. WHAT were teachers THINKING?? Do I even need to finish the story? How that makes a child feel if they aren't one of the "Cool Kids"? How you would be walking around putting valentines into kids' boxes and looking out of the corner of your eye at who was passing by your box without leaving one, who was shoving one in real fast without looking, kids whose mothers (appropriately) made them give one to everyone, but still hoping that none of the cool kids caught them putting a valentine in a box of a 'loser'? Watching the kids dig around and look at and compare with smirks who got what from whom?
To add to the story, my school also had a tradition where people could anonymously purchase carnations of different colors that had different meanings for the kids. Red meant love, one was friendship, one was secret flame, etc. Name called off one at a time, you go to the front of the class and get handed your flower, and go sit back down. A big production where again, of course, your popularity or lack of it was spelled out. One year I ordered a red one to take home to my mom. That year I got called up twice, once for the one I ordered for mom, and once for the red one I received. A kid in my class yelled out "She had to send flowers to herself because nobody else would!" Of course I was humiliated-it was supposed to be anonymous as to who bought what, but obviously someone in the 'know' of the order forms thought it was funny and decided to share. I was too shy to comeback with the truth, that I bought it for my mom, not to try to make myself look popular, which 1) had never occured to me and 2) I would never have been stupid enough to try, so I said nothing. I made it home before I started crying. When mom asked me what was going on, I told her, and held out the one red one for her. She got a look on her face I can now probably understand, and much later I learned that she had sent the other one to me. Several years in a row, she had filled out a form and sent a red one to me, so I would always have one anonymous flower coming.
Now I'm a mother, and I can't hardly imagine how MY mother felt about these things, because the THOUGHT of that happening to Kaylee makes me want to go commit battery and possibly homicide. What a horrible tradition. People can complain about progress all they want, and maybe things like the flowers are just going to have to be the way they are and people will have to 'deal' as a part of life--but making kids give valentines to everyone in their class instead of just the people they like is not an infringement of their right to be friends with whom they want, and it is not political correctness run amuk. It is purely and simply good manners, compassion, and an avoidance of situations that do NOT need to exist, situations that have the potential to leave wounds and scars. It's tough to be a child, bad enough to know few people like you. It's far worse to have it proven, over and over, publicly.Thank God that Kaylee will not have to deal with that in her class. I wore black for years to protest Valentine's Day. The commercialized aspects of it, the unfairness of it, the cheesiness of it. These days I wear red and pink, to celebrate with my daughter who has never had anything like that happen to her, something which I wish I could guarantee for the rest of her life. I know I can't, and I dread the hurt, but for now, I will wear pink and red with her, bake special cookies, drink pink milk, and happily prepare valentines for EVERY child in her class, even if she says to me "But Mommy, I don't like him." At which point I will explain that Valentine's Day is about kindness too, that God loves each of us no matter what, and wants us to be kind to all the people he loves too, whether they are our favorites or not. I will explain that being left out hurts, and that whether other kids do the right thing or not, she will, because it is the right thing to do, because she is a better person than that.
May my child never be on the receiving end of an empty box; and may my child never be the one to leave another child's box empty...
From Saturday, February 18, 2006
It seems like blogs should be reserved for the deep, philosophical discussions and messages, but if I wait for inspiration, it takes too long and I never write. So I'll just write about life. I guess that's the point too, eh?
Valentines Day for Kaylee was fun. She got goody bags and valentines from all of her school friends, and she just had a ball of a day. I made it special too, making strawberry cupcakes and let her decorate them with pink hearts and sprinkles. She also wrote out 25 valentines herself. I mean, HERSELF. She decorated them, she wrote her own name on them, she wrote her little friends' and grandparents' names on them. One at a time, with her tongue sticking out as she concentrated so hard on copying the letters the right way. She did an amazing job and I was VERY proud of her. And she was very excited about each one of them, about sticking the princess stickers on them and writing on them and making them look pretty. I truly enjoyed spending the day with her, my sweet girl who just loved drinking out of a pink heart cup and giving and getting valentines and knowing she is much loved.
On Thursday, our weather here was beautiful, so I walked her bike to school so that when she came out, she saw me standing there with her bike for her to ride home. She was SO excited, and her classmates and teachers thought it was really neat too. She rode her bike home, helmet on, proud as can be. A big girl. :)
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Childhood Angst
I hate that social worries exist at all, and really hate that my child is starting to have to deal with them. When K comes home and says "Nobody wanted to play with my doll with me today." or "Katie used to be my best friend but now she only wants to play with Hannah"...she's telling me this in a sad voice, but within 10 seconds is on to other stuff and it doesn't seem to phase her in the least-but I just want to jump up and rescue it.
I know that at this age everyone is learning how to interact with each other and that it's hard, but I swear sometimes it's harder for me as her mom. The other day K told me that a girl would not play with her, and in the hallway of the preschool I got down on my knee and looked her in the eye and said "Honey, I promise that some day you will have good friends who love you for who you are, and they will be there for you from good days and bad days. If this person doesn't want to play with you now, then don't try to play with her-go find the friend who will be a GOOD friend for you, not one you have to chase. You can't force somebody to like you any more than they can force you to like them. Please don't worry about her, and enjoy your other friends. It will be okay in the end, I promise." And she smiled and said "Okay Mommy, I will!"
I know she won't get all that off the bat, but I will repeat it over the years until she does...I hope.
This is one of the more painful parts of parenting to me! As an outcast in school myself, I am overly sensitive to the issue in my child, but at least I know it. (weak smile) And at least she is a lot more outgoing and friendly than I ever was-I was too shy to connect while she goes up to perfect strangers at McDonalds or playgrounds or anywhere and makes an instant little friend to play with, almost every time. I'm proud of her, and this raising kids thing is going to give me a heart attack one of these days...
I know that at this age everyone is learning how to interact with each other and that it's hard, but I swear sometimes it's harder for me as her mom. The other day K told me that a girl would not play with her, and in the hallway of the preschool I got down on my knee and looked her in the eye and said "Honey, I promise that some day you will have good friends who love you for who you are, and they will be there for you from good days and bad days. If this person doesn't want to play with you now, then don't try to play with her-go find the friend who will be a GOOD friend for you, not one you have to chase. You can't force somebody to like you any more than they can force you to like them. Please don't worry about her, and enjoy your other friends. It will be okay in the end, I promise." And she smiled and said "Okay Mommy, I will!"
I know she won't get all that off the bat, but I will repeat it over the years until she does...I hope.
This is one of the more painful parts of parenting to me! As an outcast in school myself, I am overly sensitive to the issue in my child, but at least I know it. (weak smile) And at least she is a lot more outgoing and friendly than I ever was-I was too shy to connect while she goes up to perfect strangers at McDonalds or playgrounds or anywhere and makes an instant little friend to play with, almost every time. I'm proud of her, and this raising kids thing is going to give me a heart attack one of these days...
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Siblings
Today K and I did our annual tradition of putting her footprints in paint on fabric she picks out (princesses this year, of course!). When she's 18 I'll have all the squares quilted together and make hopefully a nice big memory quilt. Well, after we finished that, I took pictures of her holding her brother's portrait in front of a quilt made especially for her two siblings who died of SMA. I was getting ready to tell her to look at me and smile, when she reached down, touched her brother's face and said "Hi Devon, I love you and miss you." I snapped a picture before it got 
away and I am glad, because it's so bittersweet to me. My beautiful, precious, sweet, smart daughter who is five times older than her precious, sweet, gentle 'big' brother ever got to be. God, I miss him in our lives...As I started typing this, listening to music on my iPod, the song that came on was "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me. Irony irony irony...the song I used to do a presentation of his photos, the song that usually makes me cry. I guess it was meant to be for when I wrote about him.The quilt is so beautiful, the squares almost each touch me in a different way. The angel in God's hands, the two brothers arm in arm, the infant pressed under his mother's chin...so beautiful and special.I'm out of words. I just wanted to say that we did this today, that K's footprints are recorded for posterity and the boys' quilt touched me today and that I treasure every moment with my children both here and gone...
away and I am glad, because it's so bittersweet to me. My beautiful, precious, sweet, smart daughter who is five times older than her precious, sweet, gentle 'big' brother ever got to be. God, I miss him in our lives...As I started typing this, listening to music on my iPod, the song that came on was "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me. Irony irony irony...the song I used to do a presentation of his photos, the song that usually makes me cry. I guess it was meant to be for when I wrote about him.The quilt is so beautiful, the squares almost each touch me in a different way. The angel in God's hands, the two brothers arm in arm, the infant pressed under his mother's chin...so beautiful and special.I'm out of words. I just wanted to say that we did this today, that K's footprints are recorded for posterity and the boys' quilt touched me today and that I treasure every moment with my children both here and gone...
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