End Times

Ann is still here as of now, but probably not for much longer. After we gave her the Lorazepam yesterday, and a small dose of morphine so they could move her around and clean her up and change her clothes, she went to sleep, and she was OUT.  I don't think she's been sleeping well, and this took away the agitation and helped her sleep. I couldn't wake her up to give her any food, but I got some water and some broth down her last night.  This morning she never opened her eyes, but she woke up enough to have some sips of water.  Tonight she wouldn't participate with drinking at all, or work for the sponge on a stick that we dipped in water to put on her lips or in her mouth.  So I took a syringe and squirted a little water in there, tried to close her mouth, but her jaw is almost locked open.  She finally did swallow that, after we lowered the back of her bed and it went further back in her throat, but I then left well enough alone. I don't want it to run down the wrong pipe and into her lungs or something.  She can't have many days left, and every time I check on her I wonder if she'll be gone.  Cathy is on her way, will arrive tonight.  Kaylee is home as well.  Steve and I both told Ann that it was okay to go, to be with Richard again, and to take care of Devon & Sidney with him for us.  That was the one time she made a noise today, when Steve said Devon's name. Maybe it was coincidence, but maybe not.  That look of people right before they die, I now recognize it. I know it's a part of life, but I'm not sure I'm glad to know it.  It feels weird, this death watch, and it's weirder to see pictures of her five years ago and not even hardly recognize who is in the bed in front of you.  I'm glad that the last clear thing she ever said to me was not that long ago--two weeks?  When she wasn't walking on her own but she was still sitting in a chair, and I walked in with ice cream and she saw it and lit up and said "I love you and you love me!" clear as a bell, the only clear sentence I'd heard come out of her in ages.  That's a nice last memory where I know it was really her.

This morning I flew with our new instructor, Alex, and took him over to Glenndale to do some short/soft field takeoffs and landings. He has struggled since coming out of Purdue with actually being able to fly, and land, and he had giant patterns. So I took him there to show him how to tighten up his airspeed, his pattern, and to see the difference between practicing a short/soft field on 2 miles of concrete or doing it for real.  He had a blast, really enjoyed it, and fine tuned it pretty well.  It had just rained the day before, so the field really was soft, with a lot of drag, so that was all a good experience for him, and he could see the difference between using the technique on concrete vs doing it on grass.  At one point he said he just realized that his takeoff was so bumpy because the GROUND was bumpy.  Like...yeah, man.  The grass and dirt clods are bumpy.  lol  So it was a good experience for him.

I was supposed to do spin training again today, but the Conquest took so long getting here (instead of 11 am it got her at like 3:30 pm), it ran into my time to do the spins, so I had to put that guy off again, until tomorrow.  Fourth time.  I hate that.

When the Conquest arrived, Dale was the pilot and had brought the mechanic, Don along with him.  We will be moving away from using Don from now on, as he has never, ever, not once, ever, been anywhere close to being on time when he said he would be.  Not just a day or two late, but a week or two late sometimes.  So we're going to a shop in Wichita next time, and see how we do with them.  But anyway, they arrived this afternoon at 3:30. I had the plane topped off, and then we took off and headed to Michigan where I'd drop them off.  I asked Dale to fly and I'd fly home. He has 1500 hours of Conquest II time, and does insurance checkouts in them, and I wanted to see how he did things, if they were different than how I did things, etc.  I asked him to, so he showed me a couple of the start-up checks that my checkout pilot didn't show me.  Answered two questions I had, which was great.  The rest of it? I was a little surprised to see that, well, I am better than he is at actually flying it, cross country, radio communications, IFR procedures, etc.  He flies some jets on the side too.  I don't know why I still assume that other experienced people will be better than I am, well, I do know, but every once in awhile I have to remind myself to...at least give myself a break.  I'm experienced too now.  I always know what I need work on, what I don't have down cold, what feels sloppy, and I don't always know that I've actually got the plane down pretty well.  So I write this as a reminder to myself next time I start to stress out about a checkout. Like my Cheyenne checkout that is coming up the 31st.  I used to lose sleep over those, worrying about making a fool out of myself. I think I can stop that.  

Cathy just arrived, and she and Steve went next door together.  Mother, son, daughter.  Hard times.

Oh! Last night I watched Casablanca. I'd never seen it before, didn't even know what it was actually about.  Now I know. It IS a good movie. And it's amazing how many lines, songs, quotes, etc. that you know from that movie having never seen it and not knowing the basic plot.  Amazing.  Here's looking at you, kid.

Ice starting to accumulate on the window

Blue skies above the 400' ceilings in Michigan