Branching Out

Kaylee asked if she could have a friend over after school. Normally the rule is, no asking the moment of.  You have to figure it out a day in advance so we can be prepared.  But this time neither of them had any homework, her room was clean, and I hadn't had a long, tiring day nor did I have anything pressing for the evening.  So I said okay, and the girls played for awhile up in Kaylee's room.

After about 45 minutes or so, Kaylee came out and said "Hey Mom, can we go down to the park together for a little while?"  She has no idea of what that set off.  When I was 12 it was a different story.  I spent summer days riding my bike to the library or playing on a playground or digging a hole in the deserted lots behind our house or playing in a tree fort or doing whatever I felt like, and nobody really knew where I was for hours at a time and there was no way to reach me if they did want to.  Kaylee is 12 now, and she's never been to that park without adult supervision before.  I contacted the mom of the friend to be sure she was okay with it, and then sent them down there.  She had a friend and a cell phone and was about one block from our house and I was still not overly comfortable.  This is just different.  Times are different.  I trust her, but I don't trust anybody else.  I let her go, because it's time, and controlled.  I firmly believe that you don't learn to be responsible without someone giving you responsibility.  I thought about following them, then decided not to be THAT mom.  They came home in the time in which they were supposed to, having taken some photos and had a bit of an adventure, and life is nothing if not an adventure, right?  Hopefully I'll get more used to this whole kid off outside of my protection thing as time goes on.  I know this is old hat to the rest of you parents who have done this before, but it's kinda new to me, this area where I have to not only trust her and hope for her to make good decisions, but now I also have to hope for no creep-a-zoids or accidents too, and it's that part I'm more bothered by. I read too much.  It occurred to me that with her personality, if she ends up much like us, I probably have a lifetime of "I hope she's okay out there" ahead of me, and I suddenly have a lot more sympathy for my poor mother. ;)