This morning on the way to school, the song "I Can Only Imagine" came on the radio. I haven't heard it in awhile, and I usually don't listen to it, because it is one of those songs that always gets to me. The first time I heard it was when I was church hunting, and the place we ended up attending had a woman doing a beautiful sign-language/dance to this song. I later used it as the music behind a little presentation I did about Devon. Now I can't hear the song without seeing his life go by too fast one frame at a time and ending at the cemetery. Of course not really ending there though-I can imagine him being welcomed home, walking, healthy, strong. Sometimes the extremely vivid imagination I have always had is a blessing, and sometimes it's been a bit of a trial...I just have to try to direct it sometimes when it starts wandering on its own.
Speaking of SMA, one of the moms I've known for a very long time has a blog with another mom, and the entry I just read is spot on. The feelings, good and bad, the fear and the hope. It's worth a read if you have a minute...
I bit the bullet today, and I got a new eye exam followed by both contacts and glasses. The eye doc told me that I was a good candidate for contacts because my right eye's prescription was twice as strong as my left, and that in glasses it can make my brain have a hard time putting the two images together, but in contacts it won't have that problem. I also wanted to try contacts because I want to wear them while flying, under normal cheap sunglasses. The problem lies in the fact that I can't poke myself in the eye. She was describing how I would have to hold my eye wide open, no blinking, and poke that thing right to the center of my eye. I have a trial pair here in my prescription. Last time I got a contact stuck in my eyeball and about freaked out. But I overcame my problem with seatbelts (bet you didn't know I had that, but I did-felt totally trapped and claustrophobic in them), overcame my problem with helmets for motorcycles and airplanes, overcame my inability to speak in public, so I figured there isn't a lot left beyond getting in dirty bathtubs, holding spiders, letting people touch me nonstop and wearing turtlenecks, all of which I see no need to do, and poking myself in the eye, which I DO see a need to do.
I've been wearing my new glasses and all I can say is "whoa". I can see the quilting pattern on the toilet paper roll, each drop of rain on my windscreen, and I can read the tiny print on a toothpaste tube. The problem is, it's so clear it almost hurts. It DOES feel weird, and if I turn my head too fast it makes my stomach churn. If I close my right or left eye either one and look out the other, it's perfectly normal and clear. But when I open them both at the same time...it just feels very strange. I don't know if it's that "putting two such different images together" brain thing he was talking about, or what, but it's dizzying. I can also see the wrinkles on my hand and the cobweb I missed in the corner. I'm not sure it's such a great thing to have perfect vision. Maybe a little "fuzzy" would be a good thing for everyone to have...
When I was leaving the eye place, the lady behind the desk said "and you're not wearing anything right now?" I said "No", and after looking at my prescription she said "can you actually SEE anything??" Hey, now, it's not THAT bad. My left eye just takes over for both eyes, so I can actually see fine until I try to focus down on little numbers or letters. But hey, I've got it taken care of, because by George I could probably see a mosquito pass gas right about now.
Tonight is an Open House at Kaylee's school, and I have to attend as a board member and photographer. It's a good school, with good teachers and an excellent administrator, and I wish I could find a way to help bring in some extra money to them. They're charging half of what any other private school in town is charging to try to allow people who are struggling financially to still have the option of a private education with a non-denominational but faith-based core. The problem with charging so much less is that you have less money with which to operate, and they are running so tight. The teachers are all accredited, all have a lot of experience, and are all there because they love to teach. The rules are fair, the education is top notch and better than competitive with public school testing results. Here's their website, and if anyone is looking for a good cause to donate to (beyond SMA of course), I know how much it would mean to them.
When I picked Kaylee up from school today, she asked me if she could call her school friend when we got home. I asked her why, and she said because her friend wanted to know what she was wearing tomorrow for their field trip. Kaylee said her problem was that she didn't know what she wanted to wear yet tomorrow, that she is a "wait until the last minute to decide" kind of girl, as she put it. Eight going on 16? :)
Since I know you're on the edge of your seat (eyeroll), I just poked in the contacts. Other than having it keep sticking to my finger instead of coming off onto my eyeball, it didn't go too badly. Now the real question-can I get the buggers back off later tonight? The view is definitely a little less drastic than the one with glasses. I can still see well, and it's still a little nauseating, but it's better.
Ballet, Open House, dinner, and the day moves on.
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"My father used to say to me, 'Whenever you get into a jam, whenever you get into a crisis or an emergency…become the calmest person in the room and you'll be able to figure your way out of it.'" ~Rudolph Giuliani
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