Rules Pilots Live By...

A few oldies but amusings. :)
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Both optimists and pessimists contribute to the society. The optimist invents the airplane, the pessimist the parachute.

If helicopters are so safe, how come there are no vintage/classic helicopter fly-ins?

As a pilot, only two bad things can happen to you and one of them will.
a. One day you will walk out to the aircraft knowing that it is your last flight.
b. One day you will walk out to the aircraft not knowing that it is your last flight.
(p.s. Take this as a 'losing-your-medical-and-being-grounded' thing, since that is the Bad Thing for a pilot.)

The ideal pilot is the perfect blend of discipline and aggressiveness.

The medical profession is the natural enemy of the aviation profession.
(See? ;))

Before each flight, make sure that your bladder is empty and your fuel tanks are full!
(*I told you to go before we left!*)

He who demands everything that his aircraft can give him is a pilot; he that demands one iota more is a fool.

There are certain aircraft sounds that can only be heard at night or over water.

Flying is a great way of life for men who want to feel like boys, but not for those who still are.
(*oh heavens, amen!*)

Flying is a hard way to earn an easy living.
(*nods*)

If black boxes survive air crashes -- why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

It's not that all airplane pilots are good-looking. It's just that good-looking people seem more capable of flying airplanes. Or so seasoned observers contend.
(*snort*)

Son, you're going to have to make up your mind about growing up and becoming a pilot. You can't do both.

There are only two types of aircraft -- fighters and targets.
(*grin*)

You define a good flight by negatives: you didn't get hijacked, you didn't crash, you didn't throw up, you weren't late, and you weren't nauseated by the food. So you're grateful.

The New FAA Motto: We're not happy till you're not happy!
(*This works for the IRS, the BMV, the Insurance Company, and the Telephone Company too!*)