Laura's Top Ten Pet Peeves List

Huh, it's harder to limit to ten than I thought. This is in honor of another Top Ten Pet Peeves List I enjoyed reading today. :)

1. Deliberately spelling words incorrectly, especially in businesses. I don't care if a person can't spell well-I am no walking dictionary myself-but things like "Kwik Mart" and "Collision Cure Body Werks" drive me crazy. It's not cute. It's not clever. It's stupid. Stop it.

2. People who drive the same (slow) speed side by side in the only two available lanes. Lead, Follow, or get OUT of the WAY. Especially My way. The left lane is for passing. The right lane is for cruising along at whatever speed you wish. Enough said.

3. Interrupting and/or talking on top of someone else. Nothing drives up my blood pressure faster in a conversation than trying to listen to two (or more) people talking at the same time. As a friend of mine says, "Everybody is on transmit, nobody is on receive." Listen to what is being said and wait your turn! I may have two ears but I can only listen to one person at a time.

4. Chatting Hairdressers. Now I will readily admit this one isn't fair. They are doing their job, and most people like it. But I can not stand that every time I go to get my hair cut, the hairdresser feels we have to chit chat like old friends. I don't know you. You don't know me. You don't care about my life, and I don't care about yours. I just want a hair cut. Can I do that in silence? Maybe think about something else important that might be on my mind instead of getting all tense trying to come up with something interesting to say? Last time I went in to the mall haircut place, my mind wandered, and apparently I'd been silent too long for the Hairdresser Code of Honor. Her opening question to me? "You here to shop?" No, I'm here to get my dang hair cut. This is why I usually cut my own hair, or wait until it is miserable before I go in.

5. Tip jars at coffee places. You have GOT to be kidding me. I'm already paying more for one cup of coffee than it would cost me to buy two GALLONS of milk. And you want me to TIP you for standing behind the counter and mixing up my coffee for me?? Give Me A Break. Tipping is for good service from service providers like waitresses who get poor baseline pay and spend their day on their feet shuffling food and drinks and complaints. If pouring a cup of coffee and handing it to me over a counter is so much work that you need a tip, then move over and I'll come do it myself.

6. Tardiness. Being late occasionally happens to everybody. Being late consistently is just rude, inconsiderate, and at worst, arrogant. Buy a watch or make an adjustment to start out earlier. And if you tell me you are going to be somewhere at a certain time, and you are not able to be there at that time, at least call and tell me. The last guy that came to our home two hours late for his appointment time got the Laurie Look of Death. My time, my life is just as important to me as yours is to you. What makes such a person think the world should stop and wait for them? Leaving me hanging, wasting my time, is one sure-fire way to make sure you won't have to worry about dealing with me much in the future.

7. Public Nosepicking. Okay, I know, it's a fact of life that people need to take care of the issue. But that is why we created tissues. Or at least privacy. Guess what? When you are driving down the road in your car, you are not invisible. Everybody passing you, or that you pass, or that is sitting at a stop sign, or that is in their house looking out the window can see your finger(s) up your nose perfectly clearly. Even people who do it in private find it disgusting to see other people do it in public. Just thought you might want to know that.

8. The "12 Items or Less" lane. This is a Two-Parter. It's been done before, but it's still one of mine, so here goes. It is not "12 items or less". It is "12 items or fewer". It's only two additional letters, surely grocery stores can afford it. Why is it that national grocery chains don't have ANYBODY in management who understands that grammar principle? Meijer, however, DOES have the appropriate sign, and I keep meaning to actually write them and thank them for breaking the mold. Secondly, why do people insist on going through this line with a cartload of things? They can't possibly miss the big sign. Or the line of people holding a toothbrush and a package of grapes. They smile sheepishly and shrug like "oh well, I have a few too many, but that's okay because the other lines are soooo much longer! I'm sure you understand!" and start piling their stuff on there. I have been dying to politely walk up to these people and say "Can you not read, or can you not count?" because one or the other would seem to be true. If you have 13 items, maybe sneak it on through and nobody will notice. I assure you the cashier will notice, but will "let it go" without much of a murmur. But coming through with your week's worth of groceries? Come on...just wait in line like everybody else!

9. The Phone Stalker. When you call me, if I do not answer the phone, I am not available at that moment, for whatever reason. Don't hang up and call me right back, then hang up and call me right back, then hang up and call me right back and leave a blank voicemail. Leave a message the first time! Let me know you called and what I can do for you! When I become available, I will call you back or get in touch with you some way. It will not make me become available any faster if you just keep dialing my number over and over; in fact if I see you called four times in a 20 second time frame, without leaving a message, it will probably make me not feel like speaking to you at all for awhile out of principle. That is annoying. Don't do it.

10. The Personal Space Invader. When you're speaking to me, or standing in line behind me, please leave enough space in between us for me to breathe. It's horrible to be in a buffet line, or a grocery store line, or a post office line, and have whomever is behind me creep up to my back until I can almost feel them breathing on me. Until their coat or purse or bag or arm keeps brushing against me. *Shudder* I promise you, creeping up my backside those extra couple of inches will not get you to the front of the line any faster. They will, however, get you either a dirty look from me, or a "whoops" as I swing a purse or other object seemingly innocently over my shoulder and whack whomever is lurking right behind me. BACK OFF, please. And if you are speaking to me, I assure you I can hear you just fine from a couple of feet away. If I can see the status of your pores or how many hairs need trimmed in your nose or smell what you had for lunch, YOU ARE TOO CLOSE. And while I'm at it, if I'm in a line somewhere, I don't really need you to speak to me. Reference the hairdresser number, and let me be unfriendly in peace.

You know, that's a little cathartic. Anybody else have a Top Ten they'd care to share? :)