Self-Image

Today's Oprah show was interesting so I actually watched it. It was about young girls and how they view themselves and their bodies...and how their mothers had impacted that view of themselves. It wasn't about blaming the moms, but about understanding how it can happen and how to try to avoid it as much as possible. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that how the dominant female in a child's life acts and thinks towards themself will impact how a child of the same sex will view themselves. But it was still pretty interesting to watch it play out three different times. There was a 3-year-old who was desperate to wear make-up and have her hair just so and would dissolve in tears and talk about how ugly she was. Above and beyond the play make-up thing, she truly thinks she's an ugly little girl. Her mom tells her all the time how beautiful she is and she just can't buy it. And the four-year-old who won't eat ice cream because it makes you fat, who is so obsessed with being fat she already skips meals and only eats fruit and veggies to keep her from getting fat.

They also ran the "Dove" commercial. "Campaign for Real Beauty." It made me laugh because one of the first ones they did was "hates her freckles". Hand shoots up in the air and Laura says "me me me!" At least I tolerate them now much better. ;) I have to admit I am glad to be in my 30's, because even though I'm twice the size and much less smooth and firm than I was a decade ago, I also really can see-and believe-that I am not defined by my freckles or my extra weight. And hopefully unlike the ladies on tv I'll be able to keep the worst of self-image issues from passing down to my daughter. She seems to be doing just fine so far-very little lack of self-confidence in this child so far. :) Today was also the day we took the kids from Kaylee's preschool class and did an airport field trip. Nathan Davis, Chuck Rider, Jim Irwin, Jim Wright and Steve all helped out very much! Nate and Chuck helped set up and run whatever needed run, Nate let us use his hangar, brought milk and cookies, and gave a talk to the first group of kids about how airplanes flew, and Jim, Jim and Steve all gave rides for about 2 hours. Most of the kids got to go (those whose parents allowed it), and they had a blast. I heard one teacher say that was by far the best field trip they'd ever taken. I'm glad they had fun, it was a success! No big deal for Kaylee, of course, but hey, it was neat for the rest of them! lol

Right now Kaylee is in her room absolutely furious because the little girl next door wouldn't play nicely with her. She sprayed Kaylee with a hose, which ticked Kaylee off, but then she wouldn't talk to Kaylee or play with her any more, so Kaylee came crying inside. I talked to her for awhile, but it didn't resolve when she went back outside, so I had Kaylee come in and sent the little girl home. After two glasses of orange juice, a cherry juice pack, and an entire bowl of Goldfish each, apparently play time needed to be over. ;) Kaylee was just crying so hard because her feelings were hurt that the girl wouldn't be nice to her. I gave her the modified speech...I told her that sometimes we all make mistakes and this girl was younger than she is, and might not always know the right way to do things. But also that you don't have to be friends with every person...that if someone starts not being nice to you more and more often, that she doesn't have to be friends, that it's okay for two people to not be 'best friends' and that sometimes it's better not to be friends. But that first she needs to realize that she gets grouchy too sometimes and maybe her friend was having a bad day and for everybody to take a break and a rest and try it again another time. So now at least she's mad at ME. :) Ah, the traumas of social interaction. I wish I could tell her it would get easier as she gets older, but unfortunately....! It's really hard to teach someone else how to be a compassionate, empathetic person, without also teaching them how to be a doormat. I want her to do the right thing, and I also want her to have the self-respect to not put up with baloney just to make kids like her. I'm not asking for much, am I? Ha...